英文小笑話有哪些?生活中怎么能少了笑話來調味一下我們乏味枯燥的日常呢?一則搞笑的小笑話就能讓我們原本苦惱的心情立刻變得像春天的鮮花一樣燦爛，七考網小編為你準備了非常搞笑的英語笑話及其翻譯，希望你的生活像夏日的陽光一樣!

1、夢想Dream

The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

農校的招生辦主任在面試一個上線的學生，“你為何要選擇這個職業?”他問。 “我夢想以經營農場來賺一百萬元，就像我父親一樣。”這個學生回答說。 “你父親經營農場賺了一百萬元?”主任驚詫地問道。

“沒有，”這位申請人回答道，“他總是夢想著賺到這個數目。”

2、Wedding or Not結不結婚

Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個終生單身漢。他曾追求過很多女孩，但“從不過熱----見好就收”。一天他突發奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時女友。

他回來即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒娶那些女人中的任何一個。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

3、Expensive Price 昂貴的代價

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

4、I Wasn't Asleep 我沒有睡著

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

當一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”

“我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。

“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

5、Put your feet in把腳放進去

The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

一個女學生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發現了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什么事，老師?”這女學生問。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來，把腳放進去。”